i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
