Ketchup is God's man juice
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
