Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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