I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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