I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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