i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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