Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
