Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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