I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I could have mohawked her pubes.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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