i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
my being single is dangerous.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
