so let's talk penis.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
