went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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