He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
