Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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