I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
