SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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