Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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