He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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