it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
