i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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