All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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