I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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