He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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