her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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