guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
