come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I have aggressive nipples.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
