i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
