I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Shame is for Republicans.
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