So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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