I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
