new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
