he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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