big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
