Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
