i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
