can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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