i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
this hospital has no fireball
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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