I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
