She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
