i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
