did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize