At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize