She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
