Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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