Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
