Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
