I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize