That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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