she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
