I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
