guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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