There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
