Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
