Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
