How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize