Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
