my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
