just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize