I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
